Insights
By Dr. Karolina LaBrecque
Experiencing Negative Emotions: Why Pushing Them Away Is a Bad Idea
Here’s a pattern I see again and again in high-performing professionals.
They are capable.
Intelligent.
Driven.
And quietly exhausted.
Not because they are failing.
But because they are constantly pushing their emotions away.
If you’ve ever told yourself, “I don’t have time to feel this right now,” this is for you. Time to look into experiencing negative emotions.
The Cultural Lie We’ve Absorbed About Emotions
Most of us were taught early on that some emotions are acceptable and others are not.
Anger is labeled as dangerous.
Sadness as weakness.
Fear as something to overcome quickly.
So we learn to suppress.
We stay busy.
We push through.
On the outside, this looks like strength and productivity.
On the inside, it creates tension that doesn’t go away.
And here’s the problem: experiencing negative emotions is part of being human. Avoiding them is not.
What Actually Happens When Emotions Are Ignored
Emotions are not thoughts.
They are physiological signals moving through the nervous system.
When you push them away, they don’t disappear.
They get stored.
Over time, suppressed emotions often show up as:
Chronic tension or unexplained pain
Fatigue that rest doesn’t resolve
Irritability or emotional numbness
Anxiety without a clear trigger
Loss of motivation or joy
This is not a mindset issue.
It’s a nervous system issue.
Unprocessed emotions keep the body in a low-grade survival state. You may still function, but you are no longer in flow.
Why Negative Emotions Are Not the Problem
This is where many people get it wrong.
Negative emotions are not enemies.
They are information.
Anger often signals a boundary that has been crossed
Sadness points to loss or the need to slow down
Fear highlights uncertainty and the need for support or clarity
Frustration shows misalignment between effort and outcome
When emotions are listened to, they inform.
When they are suppressed, they escalate.
The problem isn’t experiencing negative emotions.
The problem is what we’ve been taught to do with them.
The Hidden Cost of Emotional Avoidance
Emotional avoidance doesn’t stay contained.
It leaks into leadership.
It affects relationships.
It clouds decision-making.
It shows up in the body.
This is how burnout starts.
Not loudly.
Quietly.
Gradually.
Predictably.
People don’t burn out because they care too much.
They burn out because they ignore what their system has been trying to communicate for too long.
A Different Way Forward: Befriending Your Emotions
At Help to Grow Institute, we don’t teach people to wallow in emotions.
We teach them to relate to emotions differently.
Befriending your life means:
Noticing what you feel without judgment
Allowing emotions to move through instead of getting stuck
Responding instead of reacting
Using emotions as data, not directives
This is how emotional resilience is built.
This is how nervous systems regulate.
This is how high performance becomes sustainable.
One Small Shift You Can Make Today
The next time a “negative” emotion shows up, pause and ask:
What is this trying to protect me from?
What does it need me to notice?
What happens if I listen for 90 seconds instead of pushing it away?
That pause changes everything.
Your emotions are not in the way.
They are showing you the way.
Frequently Asked Questions About Negative Emotions
Is it bad to experience negative emotions?
No. Experiencing negative emotions is a normal and healthy part of being human. Problems arise when emotions are consistently suppressed or ignored.
What happens when emotions are suppressed?
Suppressing emotions can lead to chronic stress, nervous system dysregulation, fatigue, anxiety, burnout, and physical symptoms over time.
How long should I feel an emotion?
Most emotions naturally rise and fall within 60–90 seconds when they are allowed to move through the body without resistance.
Can listening to emotions improve performance?
Yes. When emotions are processed instead of avoided, clarity improves, decision-making sharpens, and energy becomes more sustainable.
Final Thoughts
Because growth doesn’t come from ignoring yourself.
It comes from listening.
If this resonates, this is the work I speak and write about often.
Helping people move from suppression to self-trust, from burnout to flow.
👉 Explore Befriending Your Life methodology
👉 Invite me to speak or work with your organization
High performance doesn’t require emotional shutdown.
It requires emotional intelligence, nervous system regulation, and self-respect.